“Some things are better left unsaid, some strings are better left undone. Some hearts are better left unbroken, some lives are better left untouched. Some lies are better off believed, some words are better left unspoken”. Yes, one of my most favorite underappreciated Daryl Hall and John Oates songs (it might actually be a tie between that or ‘Adult Education’?). If only I would ever learn to live those same exact lyrics that Daryl Hall was singing instead of always throwing caution to the wind and speaking my mind, aka, “the truth”. No one wants to hear that crap right? And I’m not just speaking of women here, men neither. I myself have been guilty of thinking “oh god, how do I reply back to what she just said?, I mean I could always go with the “oh, uh yea, absolutely I feel the same exact way you do”. Because I really, really, have I said really enough?, really hate to hurt anyone’s feelings, especially when they’re brave enough to put it all out there like that. I mean that is the definition of courage. So if those same exact feelings are not mutual, we all have to make a simple choice then…say what you don’t really mean so not to hurt the other person’s feelings? Or, be brutally honest and say “I’m sorry, I’m just not there. You’re great, anybody else would be lucky to have you, but I don’t feel that same way for you right now. Maybe down the road?, absolutely, but not at this present moment.”
I can say this somewhat as an expert now (and by expert I mean of course having been on both ends of it). SAY IT – no matter what the consequences may bring. As I’ve said before on earlier pages, I’ve been very fortunate to have somehow dated several very attractive, smart, funny women since my life changed back in late May. I don’t know what they see in me honestly, and I wasn’t about to question their wisdom on why each of them enjoyed my company (obviously I didn’t want them to start thinking too hard about it themselves). But there was one that fell hard for me, and fast. Maybe too fast?, who knows? And she’s smart, she knew my feelings for her wasn’t quite there just yet. She even asked why I never tagged her on facebook when we were both together at a client of mine’s place of business? Truthfully, I’m not sure except for maybe that I always considered that to be a confirmation of a “relationship” status, and not just on a date. And also to avoid questions from random facebook friends curious on “who is she?”, “how long you been dating?”, “how serious are you?”, and of course the inevitable “congratulations”. I’d like to save all of that till I truly am in a committed, loving relationship with someone. But you know what?, I am glad she told me, I love the fact that someone can be that honest and open with their feelings, and willing to throw it all out on the table. She needed to know if the feelings were mutual, to see if we were ready to move to that next step. Or was it time to ‘fish and cut bait’?, or even yes, was it time to ‘shit or get off the pot’?
Oh, so you haven’t forgotten huh?, damn, and I thought I was this close to a clean getaway. So you want to know all the juicy details on when I’ve been on the other end of that as well? Let me first explain something to you, I’m still way new to all these modern-day courtship rules and ways to communicate properly. I’ve never been alone this long without a significant other in my life, except for maybe back in my Air Force days when I was young, dumb, and full of, well anyways, so what was I saying? Oh yes, and of course that was way before kids, careers, the world wide internet, and wi-fi. So there is someone (and she knows who she is) that I fell for, well I wouldn’t say “hard” or “fast”, but fell for regardless, yes most definitely, quite possibly, maybe one day down the road, in love? But you know, with her I’ve always sensed that our attraction to each other was much like the lyrics from another classic song – “I want you, I need you, but there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you, now don’t be sad, cause two out of three ain’t bad”. In all seriousness, we always do have a great time together, we enjoy each other’s company immensely, we laugh together, drink together (maybe at times a little too much?, naw, no such thing right?) and we both view the world the same exact way (that the political far right friends that we have should really come back more to the middle for the sake of unity, and oh yea, that Trump sucks). But unfortunately for me, the one thing I don’t believe that we share in common is how we truly feel for the other. I seriously hope I’m wrong in this view, but either she doesn’t have those same mutual feelings for me as I do her?, or it truly is all about timing? And if she does feel the same way for me that I do her, could very well be that she’s not yet at a point in her life to let her guard down completely and explore those feelings once again, at least not now?, not at this very moment? If the second option is indeed the case, then goddamn you timing, you’re killing me whitey! She’s truly a very special soul, in fact they all are really. Truthfully, I’m not sure who is perfect for me at this advancing age of mine anymore? But as I get older, more balder, and ever so closer to retirement each passing day, my requirements may gradually change from beauty, intelligence and humor to maybe eventually only be “does she have a pulse”? I know who I want next to me in my life at this very exact moment, but what I want and what life has in store for me might well be two very different things? And you know what?, I’m okay with that. Because we all know by now, no matter what you want, life will laugh at you and say “whatever, here’s what you’re getting”. In the end, I’ll be good just as long as my very own happiness survives. So speak those unspoken words, because you never know how someone truly feels if you don’t!