“Friendship, trust, honor, respect, admiration. This whole experience has been such a revelation. It’s taught me love and how to be a real man, to always be considerate and do all I can. Although I often reminisce, I can’t believe that I found, a desire for true love floating around. Inside my soul because my soul is cold, one half of me deserves to be this way till I’m old. But the other half needs affection and joy, and the warmth that is created by a girl and a boy. I need love.” When I first began this little blog of mine back in the dark, cold days of winter, it was in a way to help me get thru the pain of having my heart broken. On the outside, most people probably thought I was fine. Same jovial guy as always, with the same quick-witted comebacks, and same stupid smile on my face. Not letting nothing bad in life get to him. I mean hell, if cancer couldn’t take me down four years ago, how could a break-up do it right? Well it did, down to my core actually. So I started blogging about it, and what I was feeling at the time during some low moments in my life. It was a form of self-therapy that was suggested to help me get thru it. Yea I know, it was somewhat akin to a 12-year old girl writing in her diary right?, perhaps so? But it has helped, tremendously. Because now all of that pain (okay, maybe not all, but most) has disappeared. To the point that I’m now ready to put myself out there once again and open my heart for a chance to possibly fall in love again. And yes, to maybe get hurt yet again as well. But hey, as they say in Vegas “let it ride” amirite?
And what I have learned in the past 15+ months, is that it all begins with friendship first (especially at my age as I advance to my 60’s). I mean don’t get me wrong, passion is great. But it can only last so long, until it begins to wane somewhat (that’s human nature). But the secret is, to fall in love with someone that is also your best friend in life – because there is no equal. And with that friendship first, is followed by the trust, the honor, the respect, and of course the admiration that you have for each other. Just like two very good friends of mine that celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary this past weekend. They were best friends first, before they too fell in love. And on a personal level, I met someone almost a year ago that I consider my best friend in life now. We dated, then decided to back off (okay, fine, she decided), then dated again, backed off again, dated some more, went on a vacation together, backed off yet again, and, well, we finally just decided we’re better off as close friends. The best kind of friends actually. The kind where we may not see or even talk to each other for a few weeks, but we both know that we’re there for the other, no matter what. So while the passion and romance may not have worked out for us, the deep, caring friendship survived. And I hope that never changes, no matter where the different paths in our lives takes us.
And her friendship (and several others before her too) has in a way taught me how to be a real man, to always be considerate and do all I can. No matter if it’s for love, or for friendship. Mainly just to be kind to not only women of course, but to everyone. I may have thought that I already was, but I don’t think I ever truly put myself in someone else’s shoes? Sure I may have felt empathy and compassion for others, but not to the level where it should have been. Now when I pass a homeless person, I no longer think “it sucks to be them“. Instead I catch myself wondering what led them to where they’re at today?, and could I find myself in that same position thru life’s misfortunes? So while the inside of my soul may have been cold at one time, as they say “with age, comes wisdom“. I’m fortunate that I made it this far in life. I’ve survived the mistakes we all seem to make in our youth, I’ve survived stage four cancer, and I’ve survived the depression that comes with heartbreak. So now all I’m missing in life is affection, joy, and the warmth that is created by a girl and a boy. Basically what I’m missing is love. And I know that could happen just at any time!