“From now on, our troubles will be out of sight. Have yourself a merry little Christmas, make the yuletide gay. From now on, our troubles will be miles away. Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore. Faithful friends who are dear to us, gather near to us once more. Through the years we all will be together, if the lord allows. Hang a shining star upon the highest bough, and have yourself a merry little Christmas now.” So almost a year into this little self-therapy of mine to help me get thru what I once referred to as “my deep dark period”, and here I am now already close to my 70th blog. And I’ve gone from what used to be maybe three blogs per week, to well, let me put it this way, I just noticed that this one today is the first one that I’ve posted in almost a month. So to any of the faithful followers and friends that have always taken the time to read my latest words, not sure if I should apologize or just simply say “thank you”? Yea, let’s go with that last one, I humbly thank you for all your feedback, your positive thoughts, and of course the time you took out of your busy lives to read each one of them – and to actually care and wish the best for me.
So does this lack of continuing to blog mean that I’m finally healed from the personal wounds I went thru? Simply, I’d have to answer “no“. Not that I think about it much anymore, and I definitely don’t dwell on it. But honestly, are any of us completely healed from those general letdowns of life – no matter if it’s a tragedy, an illness, a job loss, or simply just a relationship that ended unexpectedly? I don’t think so, but that’s what makes us all stronger for that next bump in the road to bounce back from (and there will be a next bump in the road to bounce back from). So I truly believe that’s what helps to make us grow, to be able to come back as an even stronger human being, a better us! So at this special time of the year, when we look back at some of those fond memories of Christmas’ past, and ponder what Christmas future might look like, also cherish this holiday right here, right now, every minute and every second of it. Because once it’s gone, you can’t have it back. I should know.
And how I miss all those memories, of being surrounded by everyone that I loved. The excitement of it all, the smiles, and the joy that the day brought. From the earliest memories of my childhood to when my daughters were growing up, to just recently in my life. Now I’m pretty much alone, not “alone” like when Ritchie found Fonzie eating out of a ravioli can all by himself on Christmas Eve in a famous Happy Day’s episode. But “alone” as in the fact that I will be pretty much by myself on Christmas Eve and most of Christmas Day. My oldest will be with her mother and her grandparents those two days (as is the customary tradition). And of course my youngest and my little grandson will be out of state. Sounds sad I know, but I am actually happy and lucky. Lucky in the fact that I once had that time of togetherness, surrounded by family and everyone I cherished on Christmas. And who knows, maybe I will again one day? But if not, that’s okay, because those memories will always be there with me. When my troubles were out of sight, miles away. When those days were indeed happy, golden days of yore. So my Christmas wish to each and every one of you is if you can, to gather with those faithful friends who are dear to you, once more. And hopefully through the years to follow, you will always be together. And above all, my wish to you is to have yourself a merry little Christmas now.