Cat’s in the Cradle

“My grandchild arrived just the other day, he came to the world in the usual way.  But I wasn’t there, cause he was born so far away.  And soon he’ll learn to crawl, walk and play.  Then start talking before I know it, and as he grows, he might say I’m gonna be like you Poppy.  You know I’m gonna be like you.  And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man on the moon.  When you coming back Poppy?  I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then.  You know we’ll have a good time then.” First things first, my apologies to the late, great Harry Chapin for tweaking the lyrics to his beloved song (but I’m sure he’d understand?). And unfortunately for me, these lyrics do ring true in my life because I was far away when my youngest daughter gave birth to my first grandchild. Yes, I was still in Little Rock while she and her husband were in La Jolla, California when the big moment finally arrived nearly a month ago. And more than likely I won’t be there when he does learn to crawl, walk or talk (or many other firsts). Since his father is in the military, stationed in San Diego, there really is no telling how many big moments that I will be missing in this child’s life. One is already too many right?

And while he is obviously still too young to be hearing any sagely advice or words of wisdom from his Poppy just yet, I can’t help to wander what his future does hold? And what type of world eventually awaits him when he does reach adulthood? Other than happiness, and hopefully achieving whatever dreams he may have as the years do roll by, the only thing that I truly do hope for him is…that he won’t be like me. That he’ll be a much better man, and human being than me. Sure he’ll make mistakes in life as we all do, but unlike me, maybe he’ll learn from each one of those mistakes and grow from them? And when he does finally become my age (on the cusp of 60), that he’ll be in a loving marriage or relationship at that time, with children of his own that love him as well, along with possibly some grandchildren that he will adore just as much as I adore him right now. And that he won’t be alone, clueless and looking back on life regretfully, because of some of the choices that he may have made in the past. As I am today.

In my youth I first wanted to be a sportswriter, which then translated into a political journalist. And finally I settled on wanting to be a history teacher. Unfortunately, none of those career goals came to fruition for me. Instead, I never finished college – about three semesters short of graduating (damn you Algebra II and running out of money). And so I went into the world of marketing and advertising. A good, solid career, and one that more than paid the bills and gave me a flexible schedule yes. And one that I do still enjoy today, but no, it was never my dream job. And like me, I’m sure when he gets older that he too will have dreams of his own future and career. And I hope that they do all come true for him. Especially the most important dream of all, finding that one true love that will fully complete his happiness. Someone who will make him laugh out loud at times, someone who will have his back when the days get dark , and someone that he will grow old with. I don’t have that in my life right now (and maybe never will again?), but goddamn I sure hope he will. That’s really my only dream for him. But in the meantime before all those years do flash by, if he asks when you coming back Poppy?  I’ll just have to reply with I don’t know when buddy, but we’ll get together then.  You know we’ll have a good time then.”

(Dedicated to my first grandchild – Noah James Rives)