“He’s a sweet talking stud who can melt a girl’s heart with his pout. He’s the kind of lover that the ladies dream about, yes he is. He’s got plenty of cash, he’s got plenty of friends. He drives women wild, then he drives off in a Mercedes-Benz. He’s got a long wick with a flame at both ends, he’s hot. But don’t let him go, just give him a chance to grow. Take it easy, take it slow and don’t let him go.” Now let me begin by first saying, not everything in these lyrics pertain to me. No, I don’t view myself as a “stud” (though decades back, okay maybe?). And while I do have somewhat of a pout, not sure it really melts a girl’s heart? And I don’t own a Mercedes-Benz either, however I did have a BMW 28i hardtop convertible a couple of years back (close enough maybe?). As far as being a lover that the ladies dream about and having a long wick, I’ll save all that for when the kids are asleep. But I did have one person (still a very good friend of mine), that nicknamed me the “vagina wrecker”. I hope that was a compliment?, at least I’m taking it as one. Fortunately I really am blessed with plenty of friends in my circle, and I do have a decent amount of cash in savings and investments. So all this to say, meh, these lyrics are close enough to continue with the blog right?
I mention all this because, I do honestly think I’m a good guy. Maybe even a ‘catch’ to some people, at least I hope so? So why do I find myself basically in the same situation as I did nearly 10 months ago? Am I being too picky?, waiting for someone to blow me away with a combination of their good lucks, intelligence and humor? Honestly, I’m not quite sure, yet. One thing I do know, is that I don’t compare any of them to my ex (just like I wouldn’t want them to compare me to previous men in their lives). We’re all different, and I don’t want someone to be just like her anyway. She had her faults of course, hell we all do. And to be honest, if someone did remind me of her, I might run the opposite way. Because memories of all the hurt and pain that I went thru at the end might start coming back? Oh yea, so back to me. So what gives?, what exactly is it about me that I can improve on? I do live in this damn one bedroom, one bath apartment that has absolutely no view whatsoever. But hey I was in a rush to find a place all those months ago. So it was more of a ‘need-to’ than a ‘want-to’ when I signed that lease. On a side-note, I am moving in June to a bigger apartment on the river with a great view of downtown (not that it will help much I doubt in the way of attracting the female species). I do know I can’t do anything about my thinning hair, or the wrinkles under my eyes, or any other factor that’s caused by aging, but I can strive to continue to improve myself in other ways I suppose. How do I do that you ask?, good question because I don’t know myself. If you have any answers, please shoot them my way. After almost 58 years on this earth, I’ve basically accepted who I am, doubt I can change too much. I know I went overboard at times in my last relationship, trying too hard to prove my love for her with either trips, flowers, cards, etc. But had I just been a better man to her, supporting her when the times were good and bad, joyful and tragic, and not taking her inner strength for granted, then maybe my life would be different now?, and I wouldn’t be writing these thoughts down for my own therapy?
So if you’re out there, somewhere, anywhere, and you’re in the same dilemma just like myself, searching for that ‘almost perfect’ fit, I feel your pain. As I’ve said before, I’ve been lucky to have met some wonderful women in this new stage of my life, and one or two that I could definitely see myself with permanently. However, they don’t feel the same way, and that’s completely okay, I totally get it. I feel lucky just to still have their friendship. But there’s gotta be “the one” for everyone out there right? I just need some help with directions where to find her, and I’ll take care of the rest. Like sweet talking her while trying to melt her heart with my pout?