“I was listening to the radio, heard a song, reminded me of long ago. Back then, I thought that things were never gonna change, it used to be that I never had to feel the pain. I know now that things will never be the same. Now I wanna go back and do it all over. But I can’t go back, I know. I wanna go back because I’m feeling so much older. But I can’t go back, I know.” Awww yes, music….the only proven time-traveling device ever known to man. Seriously, how many times has a certain song come on and it immediately takes you back to a moment in time years or even decades ago? Case in point, any time that I hear The Kinks song ‘Destroyer’ – “paranoia, the destroyer”, it automatically takes me back to my freshman year of college, running late to my first class as I’m driving down University Avenue. Don’t ask me why, because I have no fucking idea whatsoever? It’s not like that moment in time was any more special to me than any other mundane moment in my youth. Or the Howard Jones’ song ‘No One is to Blame’, when the opening chords sends me back behind the wheel of my 1985 Buick Skyhawk (I know I know, I’m bragging now about my classic car collection here right?), as I’m driving to the U.S. Air Force Academy Hospital in Colorado Springs where my oldest daughter was about to be born. Okay, maybe that moment wasn’t quite so mundane? But it is true, music can sometimes be a wonderful look back, or on the other end of the spectrum – a tremendous gut punch too (take your pick there)?
Be honest, we’ve all thought about if we could go back to a certain moment in time, would we? While I’ve had a great life, and been very lucky to find myself where I’m at now career and health-wise, I wouldn’t think twice about it. Though let me make this perfectly clear, just as long as the stipulation that I would still have my same two daughters being born and being a part of my life was also written in the rulebook. So if that was all signed off and agreed upon, yes – I’m in!, no questions asked. I don’t even need a minute, where’s a pen? Yes dammit, take me back, but to when? where exactly in my past life would I jump back to and do it all over again? Sure, I’ve thought about this some (probably more times than I really should have), and without a doubt, it would be way back to the summer of 1982. At that time, I had just wrapped up my first year of college (unfortunately with much less than outstanding grades), had yet to have the first serious girlfriend of my life (though that was only a couple of months away), and had no bills, worries, or even a care in the world. And besides, the music was THE ABSOLUTE BEST, plus it was the early days of videos on MTV! And I had not yet enlisted in the Air Force. Now as I look back, I should have concentrated on my grades, stuck it out till I graduated college, become either a journalist or high school teacher which were my future career goals at the time, and see if there were any other dreams of mine from back then that I could have possibly reached. Do I have regrets?, of course, who doesn’t right? Would I take back some of the pain that I’ve caused others in the many years that followed? – absolutely! Yes I would definitely cherish the thought of righting all my wrongs since then.
So to have one more chance and go back to all the glory days of what was then the year 1982, me in my Panama Jack long sleeved t-shirt, straight-leg jeans and a full head of hair, as well as being a much thinner 140 lbs. soak and wet? Hell yes I wanna go back, because I am feeling so much older now. But I can’t go back, I know. Though it is fun to think about! Now will someone call Doc Brown for me, and see if he still has that DeLorean?