“The waiting is the hardest part, every day you see one more card. You take it on faith, you take it to the heart. The waiting is the hardest part. Well yeah I might have chased a couple women around, all it ever got me was down. Then there were those that made me feel good, but never as good as I’m feeling right now.” So, yea, you may have noticed that my continuous need to blog has slowed some since my mini-vacation to Key West came to a close over a week ago. While I don’t really have any answers for that (at least not any good ones?), I think it’s a combination of catching up at work and, well, uh, nope that’s about the only excuse that I have, and I agree with you that it’s a weak one at best. Truthfully, it’s been difficult to get back to the real world and completely off of vacay mode. For four full days, I was able to partake in much drink, food, sun, drink, live music, and, well, drink. And the best part was I got to do all that with someone who I consider a best friend in my life right now. And no matter what the future may hold for me, for her, or for us, I do hope we’ll always be a part of each other’s lives in some way. While I know I’m not “that guy” for her, she is such a very special person, someone whose intelligence, beauty and humor is so amazing and truly unique to be found in just one person. Hell, I wish I had all of those characteristics myself. And I know when she does find love again (the real kind of love, the kind where the passion between two people will be obvious to everyone), not only will he be very lucky to have that, but so will she. Because good people deserve good things in life, like love and happiness. And sex, yea plenty of good sex too! What?, we’re all adults here right?
And as for me you ask? Well, that’s a good question. I suppose just like her, I’ll continue to wait, hope, and bide my time for that special person to come into in my life as well. I try not to sound too redundant, because that is my biggest fear as I write these blogs of mine, that perhaps I’m just rehashing the same old thoughts of when will I find love again, or is it even possible. And perhaps I’ve already found it, but if those feelings aren’t mutual, then can it really be called “love”? I don’t think so, but who am I to decide what that word really even means anymore. And yea, maybe I’m just sounding a little on the melancholy side right now, because that one year anniversary of being dumped and having to start my new life all over again is quickly approaching. In many ways, it’s been the slowest year of my life, but also in some ways I can’t believe it’s already been almost a year. I know, I know, make up my damn mind right? So while I seem to have more questions than answers (actually, have I even answered anything yet?), the one thing that I do know is that I’m in a much happier place now than when I started this new journey of mine at the beginning of last summer. And also that I’m a very lucky man to be surrounded by the love of my two daughters, a great job with co-workers that for some reason like having me around, and many clients who are not only my good friends but they’re also like family to me as well. And yes, that same best friend in my life right now too, and hopefully she always will be. So while the waiting is the hardest part, I have no choice but to take it on faith and take it to the heart. And as good as I’m feeling right now, I just know that some day soon, when it’s meant to be, and the timing is right for me, I’ll be feeling even better. Until then, I’ll wait…