The Way It Should Be

“As we go down life’s lonesome highway, seems the hardest thing to do is to find a friend or two.  A helping hand, someone who understands.  That when you feel you’ve lost your way, you’ve got someone there to say I’ll show you.  Say you, say me, say it for always.  That’s the way it should be.” So, here it is, my first blog after the one year anniversary of when life decided to take a totally different direction than the one that I had carefully planned out (or so I thought?). And when I say “life decided”, well actually I mean of course that my ex decided it for me. But hey, enough about her right?, I’m finally way past that, and I truly do wish her well on her own life’s journey. Besides, now that we’re past a year, maybe I can finally acknowledge perhaps it was for the best for both of us after all? For her to hopefully get past the overwhelming grief and pain of losing her youngest son (although I know one never actually gets over something like that), and for me to maybe discover who I really am?, what is it that makes me tick? And yes, even though I started this blog to help me regain my footing in life, in a way it has opened my eyes to who I am?, and what my purpose is as I head into the last quarter or so of my life?

And without any doubt, the best thing about re-starting this life of mine all over again, are the new friends that I’ve met along the way (whom I most likely would have never met had what happened a year ago to me not happened). And I’ve learned that many of them have also in a way had to restart their very own lives all over again as well, experiencing much of the same pain and heartbreak that I have. So over these past 12 months, it’s safe to say that the one thing that has helped me on this journey (I mean besides the prescription drugs, the alcohol and writing down all my random thoughts in this little blog of mine) has been connecting with these other mutual lost souls, some who are also trying find their purpose. And one thing that I’ve realized now, is that there’s some beauty about starting life all over again (even at this advancing age of mine). And realizing all is not lost. And while I don’t date as much as I did at the start of this new life of mine (in fact I’ve only really “dated” one person off and on since January), I’m in a much better place than I was 12 months ago. Looking back now, regretfully I can’t recall all the names of the women that I have been fortunate enough to meet (mostly thru dating apps). Not necessarily because they were forgetful or that there were so many (okay, maybe there were more than several?), but there was no romantic connection, so why continue to waste their time. But I do remember that they were all good people, all of them with big hearts who had maybe lost their way momentarily because they too had unfortunately experienced some deep personal shit in their lives (unplanned for or not?). And most of them I’m sure I personally learned something from about struggling thru and surviving life’s many surprises and detours.

So what’s next for me?, hell I was hoping you could tell me? As I’ve alluded to before, no matter what’s in store for me, I do know that I’m a very lucky man to be surrounded by such a large circle of great, strong, beautiful women (daughters, friends new and old, co-workers, clients and acquaintances). Some of us might even joke to each other that we’re now “damaged goods”, who would want us after everything we’ve been thru? And while we of course don’t actually believe that, the sense of humor that we share is priceless. And nothing in life gives me more joy than to laugh, and those who make me laugh. A helping hand, someone who understands life’s lonesome highway. That when you feel you’ve lost your way, they’re there to say I’ll show you.  Because that’s the way it should be.