“I made it through the rain, I kept my world protected. I made it through the rain, I kept my point of view. I made it through the rain and found myself respected by the others who got rained on too, and made it through. When friends are hard to find and life seems so unkind, sometimes you feel afraid. Just aim beyond the clouds and rise above the crowds, and start your own parade. Because when I chased my fears away, that’s when I knew that I could finally say – I made it through the rain.” 461 is the number, by that I mean the number of days it’s been since my life changed for me overnight. When I very much thought that the bright ray of light had turned into solemn darkness for me. When the sun disappeared and those rains came for me. When, for the first time in my life, I got to experience the dark clouds of depression. And when sometimes it really was a formidable task just to be able to breathe at times. And no, I don’t keep a calendar at home marking off the passing days since it happened (like some convict might do next to his prison cell bunk), but I’m pretty good at math, so I can somewhat count backwards to the day.
And in those past 461 days, I can honestly say that not only did I make it through the rain, and survived it, but that I really think maybe I came out of it on the other side a much better man? With a better understanding of not only myself, but others as well. None of us are perfect by any means (certainly not me), and to have met so many others in my same exact position of having to find yourself in your late 40’s and into your late 50’s single, alone, disappointed in life, and once again having to search for your own inner happiness, well all that has been a real eye-opener for me to say the least. And in a way, it has also made me feel guilty perhaps of all the happiness that I once did possess, and would gleefully post about on social media (not taking into account at the time that many others were perhaps not experiencing that same level of happiness as I was?). For them now, I am sorry, I truly am. But if it does make you feel any better, I did get to experience my comeuppance.
And to those new, and hopefully lifelong friends of mine, who may have also got rained on too – thank you. I truly mean it, because each one of you in your own unique way have not only touched me personally, but also made me realize that just because we might close one chapter in our lives, doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s the end of the book. It just means there’s a new chapter to be written, new roads to be traveled, new adventures to be taken, and new memories to be made. And to that former love that I once had, well I want to thank her too. For the fond memories and happy times we shared in that particular chapter in the book of my life. And while that may be strange for me to say now, after all the hurt and pain that I went thru, right now at this very minute (and hopefully for quite some time to come?) I truly do love my life, and the person that I’ve become. I’m happy, I’m surrounded by the love and friendships of so many others, and I’ve met some incredible people that I would not have met otherwise, had it not happened those 461 days ago. And I hope she’s happy now, seriously I do. But whether she is or not, I am, and I realize that’s all that really matters. And life no longer seems unkind, because I was able to chase my fears and depression away. And I know now that I can finally say – I made it through the rain.