Everything She Wants

“How could you settle for a boy like me, when all I could see was the end of the week? All the things we sign, and the things we buy ain’t gonna keep us together, it’s just a matter of time. My situation never changes walking in and out of that door, like a stranger for the wages. I give you all, you say you want more. And all I could see was the end of the week. All the things we sign, and the things we buy ain’t gonna keep us together. Girl, it’s just a matter of time”. Which begs the question, is almost every relationship just temporary? And yes I do know that there are thankfully many exceptions to the rule, but yea, many if not most relationships are on a trial basis. I really wish that wasn’t the case, but between wandering eyes, broken hearts, deep and painful hurt from past relationships, the internet, and well, boredom (along with so many more excuses), you have to wonder is anything permanent anymore? No matter how much in my last relationship that I thought I was the exception to the rule, that I was “the one” she was always meant to be with, I still at times had a lingering doubt that I really was? I wanted to be, god I truly wanted to be, but personal history sometimes proves us to be a fool. And was I ever the fool, because as you know now, I wasn’t the exception at all. But would I go back and do anything different all over again? – except for that one major mistake of mine during her darkest times, hell no I wouldn’t. For the most part, those were some of the greatest years of my life. Sure at the very end I did have my heart crushed and unfortunately fell into a deep, black hole of depression for a while. But looking back, now that I’m back on my feet and looking straight ahead instead of behind me, it was still all worth it. I finally got to experience that special feeling that I had always heard so much about from other people. Of loving someone (other than your children of course) more than you love yourself. Someone you would gladly take a bullet for no questions asked. And so yes, I want to find that feeling once more, even if it does mean getting hurt again in the end.

But just as there is no guarantee that any relationship will last forever, there is also no guarantee that any of us will be lucky enough to fall deeply in love again – that rare second chance at happiness. So if not, does that mean we have to settle? Because I really don’t want to do that, if I can help it. But I don’t want to be alone forever either. So I’ll gladly do it all again, and give that person everything she wants, as long as we’re both happy. Even if it’s just for a matter of time.